It’s been a while. A long while. And during that long while, I have changed. …
It’s been a while. A long while.
And during that long while, I have changed. I am no longer a college student at Cedarville University. I am the Coordinator of Tech Ministries and Director of Young Adult Ministries at East Richland Evangelical Friends Church. I am no longer the guy who has never had a girlfriend. Ashley has been an incredible change in my life and is a constant source of encouragement, genuine care, and godly wisdom. My life has changed. Therefore, LifeMadeDigital has changed.
This is a place where I want to share what God is teaching me in this time of transition and grace. What you will find here are posts as a continued conversation from Doxa, East Richland’s young adult ministry, posts sharing insights in being a church tech ministry coordinator, posts about my life and the wisdom I’m gaining through my time with God, life experiences, and the words of others, and posts about being what God has called us to be, wherever He has placed us.
This is my life right now, in September 2012.
And this is my lifemadedigital.
As I finish my final preparations for Brazil, I’m left with a feeling of inadequacy. A realization that I’m not at all qualified to be using the church’s money to fly into another hemisphere to minister. See, a feeling of complete inadequacy.
Today I read Matthew 28:18-20, in which Jesus says, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”
To be honest, my feeling of inadequacy is garbage. It is an attempt of Satan to break apart my God confidence and to minimize our team’s effectiveness. It is true that on my own, I am inadequate, but Jesus says that He has been given all authority and because of that, we are to GO. He then reminds His disciples that He is ALWAYS WITH US!!
As the eight of us pack up and travel to Brazil tomorrow, Jesus is with us. All eight of us are completely inadequate and incapable of doing this on our own, but we are not alone. We have Jesus!! He has sent His Spirit, who enables us!
The great news is that this is true for all of His disciples. Whether you are going to Brazil for two weeks, going to Asia for a year, going to work for 8 hours, or headed into the mine for a night shift, we are ALL empowered by the Spirit. Whenever we feel inadequate, stop and be filled with the comforting truth that you are not alone. You are a strong son or beloved daughter of the King who is with you until the end of the age.
This is a story.
A long story.
A story that began a while ago, but is far from completion.
This is but a short chapter that began in the fall of 2011. As a senior at Cedarville University, the time had come to begin planning what I was going to do after graduation; if not to put my own mind to ease, I needed to at least come up with an answer for the questions I heard every day.
“The world is mine” I kept thinking. “When I walk across the stage, receive the most expensive and hard earned piece of paper I will ever touch, the world is mine.” My thoughts weren’t self-centered as much as they were my attempts to process everything. Graduating with no girl at my side, no commitments… nothing holding me to any certain location, the world is, in a way, mine for the taking. Isn’t that what we’ve always been told?
… Continue Reading
One hundred and six.
The number of days until my world becomes unrecognizable; the number of days until my faint fears become blaring reality; until my current walk of sight becomes a walk of faith.
You see, I graduate from my university in one-hundred and six days, with no concrete plans. My last four years have been one big to-do list tucked away into a daily planner… I knew my next step. I knew the next class I needed to take, the next paper I needed to write…and I could even tell you what I would be doing in two months at a given hour.
This ends in 106 days. Am I scared?
On May 5, 2012, I am going to hold in my hand the most expensive piece of paper I think I’ve ever seen. As long as the journey to that moment has been, as I take those few steps down from that platform, I will be taking my first steps into my biggest journey to date. … Continue Reading
What’s up?! Here at Cedarville, our semester is beginning to come to an end, which means one thing: finals. Oh, and CHRISTMAS!!!
So, to kick of this season, I want to know what your ALL TIME favorite Christmas song or album is and who it is by.
My favorite Christmas album happens to be an EP released earlier this year by the Ohio-natives, House of Heroes with their The Christmas Classics EP. While it only contains three songs, it is filled with Christmas magic. Check it out. It’s only $2 at the moment.
What artist or album brings you holiday cheer?
This weekend, I had the privilege to witness one of the sweetest moments of my friends’ lives. This past Saturday, my former roommate and current housemate proposed to his girlfriend after spending hours and hours of preparing the Cottage for her arrival. He asked me to assist in this special occasion by staying hidden and snapping some photographs. So that is exactly what I did. Wearing all black and hiding in a literal “hedge of protection” (from being seen) as Nick asked the big question. The pictures below are only a glimpse of the story of love that is known as Nick+Amanda.
“To love’s eternal glory.” – Kevin Malone.
So it’s been a while, nay too long since my last post. A lot has been going on here in Nappanee, but I’ll have to share that later. Two more weeks to go. But I’m exhausted.
Lifemadedigital is a place I created to share about my life and projects, and in order to do that, I must be vulnerable. In the spirit of this as well as wanting to share how God is working in my life, here is a prayer/journal entry i penned during the past week that I hope you can draw some encouragement from.
“Sat down tonight to find myself with this desire I can’t shake: a deep longing. Longing for peace. Longing for wholeness. Longing for something extraordinary to burst through the mundane. Longing for the Spirit to rejuvenate my dry, empty, and cracking bones. Longing for a world that isn’t full of disappointments. Longing for a world where worship is a lifestyle and not a weekly activity. I have a hole inside me that longs to be filled, and God, it’s up to you. I’m done. I got nothing left to give. My tears are not of depression, but pure exhaustion. Failed attempt after failed attempt of sweeping the cobwebs of death and the skeletons of past sins has left me strung out, crippled, and dying. I need your breath of life to fill my lungs once more. You’re son took the brunt of deaths blow so I wouldn’t, but I wouldn’t let go. I’m not deserving of this gift, but I let it go. I’m done trying to pay for the grace you’ve already given me. I pray you’re life will fill me now and rid me of all my fears, failures, an all insecurities as you shine through my weaknesses. I long for you like never before. This world is yours. I am yours. My heart is yours. Forever, God, make me new.”
Oh how our God is faithful.
Until next time,
PS. I realize the desperate tone of this post may cause some concern for my well being, but I assure you all that I am doing great. This post comes out of a quiet time and a season of God revealing to me how my righteousness can’t be earned but that grace, God’s grace is made perfect in my failures and imperfections. My appropriate response must be to simply accept it and rejoice in it.
This was a turning point in my thinking of grace. Another moment where I, Craig McLeod, must die to myself and allow Christ to complete his work in me.
First, i would like to apologize for my absence. lifemadedigital has been pretty quiet the past few weeks as this summer has really taken off.
Since Friday, I have been near Vermillion, OH doing tech and videography of our junior high camp. The students left yesterday as did my energy. Senior high come today and I hope with that a chance to breathe.
The topic of these two camps have been GREATER THAN. God is GREATER THAN our fears, failures, weaknesses, etc.. Together, we make a community that is GREATER THAN trying it on our own. God is GREATER THAN.
Standing on the outside of the camp and taking video of what is going on may seem to be a position where you are immune to the Spirit, but that is most definitely false. God has shattered my world, revealing the small cramped box that I have locked him inside. But God is greater than that, and He is working to free himself in order to free me to be who he has made me. though I may feel completely lost and stumbling with no walls
suffocating his mission for me giving me “support,” He is growing me. Making me new. Turning me into a new creation, just as he promised.
Does it hurt? no. Is it scary? yes. Is it rewarding? not yet. Am I terrified? sometimes. Who is with me? I AM.
Pray for me to be able to be a great influence on these students this week, but greater than that, please pray that I can build relationships with them that will last.