It’s been a while. A long while. And during that long while, I have changed. …
Have you ever wanted something so bad, but never been able to get it?
I’m not talking about wanting an iPad, but not being able to afford it or even wanting that Frappuccino but arriving at the door minutes after Starbucks closes.
I’m talking about craving something so badly that is right before you, but being so torn and distressed that you can’t make up your mind. Sometimes when you finally make up your mind, it’s too late. Other times the right decision has been starring you in the face so terribly long, but for some reason you’ve over analyzed and over thought it so much that clear direction is the last thing you see.
Welcome to my mind.
I truly wish it didn’t take me so long to think things over. By the time I finally decide what’s best, I’m convinced its too late. I long for spontaneity, boldness, and the impulse to do great things. I want to be like Peter and be willing to take the step out of the boat, instead of the unnamed disciple sitting in the corner, considering every option, and finally, when i muster up the courage and want to take the step into the unknown, Jesus swings his last leg into the boat.
I crave boldness, yet I’m stuck in a rut of being careful. I want to live my faith loud, yet I’m always attempting to speak gently, pleasing people. I want progress but I fear risk. I fear change.
In these situations, I am consumed with a spirit of worry, doubt, and unrest. However, when Jesus’ last words on earth, He made a promise. In John 16, Jesus tells of all the times of trouble that His believers will encounter: times of persecution and ridicule. While this doesn’t describe my situation, the worry and frustration that comes along with it does. It is then that Jesus promises to send the Helper, the Counselor, the Comforter, the Spirit. Jesus describes the Spirit as:
When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all the truth, for he will not speak on his own authority, but whatever he hears he will speak, and he will declare to you the things that are to come.
- John 16.13
In my times of distress, I must remember that Christ’s Spirit is within me, guiding me into the truth.
Have you ever been stuck in a place of wanting? What is it you want most?